HEART BROKEN

I want to run,but only  far enough for you to miss me,
I dont want to be alone but sometimes its necessary.
Im forced to take a smile a Laughed everyday of my life,
My hearts break coz from the start its totally Broken...
THE  pieces of it cant fix its just like i recieve a lot of punch and its almost  beaten,
and i  say i dont care if i love and fall all over again,
cozit seems numb and wounded,
guess that no one over there can back the pieces together,
Coz everybody leave and not just leave they leave my heart with scurs.
Ive learnt that goodbyes will always hurt.
pictures will never replace having been there,Memories ,good or bad, will always bring tears and words can never replace those feelings.
I BARELY SHOULD USE TO THIS HEARTACHE....

And shes crying on the inside,but shell never let them know,
And 'IF TEARS MADE ME PRETTY,ID BE FUCKING GORGEOUS'
Tears are words from my heart that cannot be spoken..
Tears let it be let it flow untill it wipes dry on my face..
Sometimes our visions clear only after our eyes are washed away with tears..

Deep in my heart im concealing things that im longing to say,
I have that personality of a dreamer,and a smile that hides more pain  than you can imagine...
One moment youre really close to someone and in the next,
yOURE NEVER GOING TO SEE THEM AGAIN....
The happy times we had together  are worth the times i cry alone...
A BROKEN HEART is not i want form this,but i guess its what happening
You taught me to love you this much but not how to stop or how to forget how i feel for you,Sometimes the memories are worth the pain,,IT HURTS!!!!!
WHY Its hard to pretend you dont love someone when you really do,
THIS!!!!!
"If you looked inside a girl ,you would see how much she really cries,you would find so many secretand lots of lies,but what youll see most is how hard it is to be strong when nothing is right and evrythings seems wrong.we may die of medication but at least we kill the pain....
There is a smile on my face but i dont know  why its there.
i know everything is my fault,Pain doesnt hurt when its all youve ever felt..
I feel weaker every morning physically,mentally and emotionally,and nobody can tell,..evry night i stay up just late enough untill i get exhausted,i stay awake waiting for u,yeah u didnt say wait for me but i used to that feeling knowing u come and talk...IM SORRY..i know that word you dnt wanna hear but deep inside sorry for everything,
Im a daughter hiding my depression im a sister making a good impression,im the girl sitting next to you...Im the one asking you to care,
You were my cure and i was your disease.I was killing you and at the same time you were saving me..


I am missing you to death.I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiled,the one who could brighten up your day even she could brighten up her own.I dont know if im getting better or get used to the pain,...
MY SMILE IS THE BEST LIE I GOT....

BROKEN...BEATEN..STILL FIGHTING!!!!!!



~NIX MAE~

FIGHT FOR LIFE

My Body sometime feels Sore.Like an ocean of tears waves on shore
But it works though I fall,in life trials I stand Bold.
I don't sleep well most nights,thinking of things how to make it right
My brain is wit,its my mental ability
What might worth living.in this world makes my mind curiosity.

I do wake up to fight another day.I'm on this situation everyday
Coz I know all my responsibility,I can do it voluntarily.
Though my wallet is not full.but my stomach is.
I have my occupation for which I am paid
See I'm not an Idle.Yes things like this sure I can handled.
Gain enough money for my necessity
I don't asked someone for money.I have my own ability to earn it instantly.

 I don't have all the things I ever wanted,but this simple way kind of living is like a seed well planted.though I didn't say its well perfect.
This life gave to me I'll surelly respect.
As far as I concern I knew I do have everything I will ever need
Coz money for me is not what I really wanted.
I don't wanna be like others that life are waisted.
Coz they wanna be rich,their time almost losted
 They wanna be fame and popular but lack of happiness..
In times of uncertainty I just thinking that I should be
Thank full because although my life is by no means perfect
I do enjoy and cherished each moments with happiness..

And my body is not that tired.I'm loving doing things I liked
Wanna stand out and break this pride
Despite of my weakness I feel inspired...
I know victory is like far from me.i work hard to reach it near from me
I demand it to myself physically to be one of my top priority
In this world I'm living in
I LIVE I BREATH I STAND I SPEAK,I MAY NOT THAT QUICK BUT LISTEN. COZ I AINT QUIT.
I FIGHT UNTILL MY LAST BREATH........

foolish heart

I love him.I can't pretend that were just friend.coz I'm thinking maybe we were meant to be.
This foolish heart keep me warning.and can't explain my feelings ..
Yes I'm falling for you.I don't know what to do.
If things will fall apart. And we need to set  together free.
Always remember I'll never go far away from you.
I'm always here to be with you.though  it kills me inside.
Its been this far since we  met..I'm so glad and my heart  filled with joy
I know your miles away but looking above I know we both sees one sky..
That way were connected.I don't know whats my worth to you.
I don't care coz u put those smile in my face.
This is not right I mean the feelings within
Wrong place wrong time they say everything's not perfect.
I don't think about that.weird of me but this is my happiness.
"If loving you was wrong I don't want to be right"

You touch my heart.in a way u  cant expressed your feelings.
Though the way you appreciate my love for you is a big deal for me.
Time is passing there's something I'm  afraid of.afraid of one day you may change and leave me.I keep myself be ready..
U may know how much I care for u but u don't know u worth a lot to me.
I will just be here no matter what happen. I may jealous but that's the proof that  I love u and I can't help myself  feels bad every time I see u  with other girls. Sorry for that  now I learn to accept everything open hand..
We don't know. Nor see our future I'm happy in our present as for now.
"And I promise you this no matters who enters your life  I will love you  more than any of them"


for you secret love...................

my life my choice

As I walk on my journey in this life
Every choice I make sometimes not right
But I don't care if its wrong or right
Coz this life is mine own fight.
I have my reason  that's why I'm here
Open your eyes so you'll see it clear.
That we have to make a good desicion
Or else were disappear..

In this world I am living in.I know were should I fit in.
Yah I'll take my place vow my head coz its amazing
I appreciate what life I have in.

I say I'm not perfect admitting I'm a sinner
In this world that pull of lier
But I'm improving myself to be better
So I can be an angel with a feather..

You know my life my choice
Make some noise
Trying to make  real choice,its  for my life not yours
So shut up if i made you annoyed..